Caren J. Werlinger - Looking Through Windows Read online

  "What do you want to do with your doctorate?" Katharine asked.

  "I want to teach," she answered simply.

  "Good for you," Owen said, smiling. "Teaching is a wonderful profession, and if you have a gift for it," he looked over at Ann, who was watching Emily with shining eyes, "it would be a shame not to use it."

  They moved out to the den, and Ann poked the fire back to life, adding a couple of logs. They all settled back to watch some television. Owen and Katharine sat snuggled together on the sofa. Emily was in her chair, and Ann was stretched out on the floor with her head resting on an oversized pillow. By ten o'clock Owen and Katharine said goodnight. They needed to pack for their trip. They would have to leave by ten the next morning to catch their flight.

  Ann got up and poked the fire again.

  "Why didn't you tell me your father owned the company?" Emily was curious.

  Ann used the poker to send sprays of sparks up the flue. "People usually get a little strange once they know that, so," she shrugged, "I've learned not to say." She turned to Emily, and asked, "Does it change anything?"

  Emily looked at Ann, firelight illuminating one side of her beautiful face. She thought of all the characteristics she had come to appreciate in Ann: her honesty, her openness and compassion. "No," she smiled, "it doesn't change a thing."

  Ann sat down with her back resting against Emily's chair. Her right arm was touching Emily's leg. They sat in silence for a while. It seemed so much longer than one week since Ann had rescued her. Her heart swelled with gratitude to Ann for all that she had done. Emily hoped she could be as good a friend if Ann ever needed it.

  Upstairs, Owen and Katharine had finished most of their packing. They were lying in bed, talking.

  "Kath," Owen said, "I'm not sure, but if I had to describe Ann's mood this weekend, I'd say she's falling in love."

  Katharine let out a breath. "I wasn't sure you saw it," she said, turning to him. "How do you feel about it?"

  He shrugged. "All her life, we've taught her to choose her own path, and I think she's made good choices. I think we have to trust that she'll make the right decision this time, too."

  "Emily seems like a truly good person," Katharine mused. "I think she really cares about Ann, but there's something I can't quite put my finger on... I don't know."

  "Do you think Ann has figured it out yet?" he asked.

  Katharine shook her head. "I just can't tell."

  "I guess we'll have to wait till she's ready to tell us," Owen sighed.

  Chapter 14

  They all got up about eight to have breakfast together. Ann and Emily cleaned the kitchen while Owen and Katharine finished packing. When they brought their bags down, the girls met them in the front hallway. Ann gave her parents each a big hug, while Emily stood back feeling uncomfortable during this family moment.

  Katharine went to Emily, and said, "Emily, it was very nice having you with us this weekend," as she gave her a hug also. Emily hesitantly returned the embrace.

  Owen came over and put an arm around Emily's shoulders. "I hope you'll come back again," he said sincerely.

  "You drive carefully, little girl," he said to Ann as he picked up their suitcases. "And be sure to lock up when you leave."

  "I will, Dad," Ann laughed. As her parents pulled out in their Volvo, she turned to Emily saying, "I don't think he'll ever change." They went back to the kitchen and sat at the table with fresh coffee.

  "I'm curious," Emily said. "Your father owns his own company. Why aren't you and your brother working with him?"

  Ann smiled and took a sip of coffee. "Michael and I have always known that we would start our careers on our own. Dad never said so directly, but we knew that we would have to earn an invitation to join him. I think he's always felt that his clients and employees would lose respect for his leadership if we were just brought in as the 'heirs to the kingdom'."

  "I think that's very admirable," Emily said. "It works the other way, too. If you don't have any interest in joining him in his work, you're free to pursue your career without any guilt."

  "I never thought of it that way," Ann admitted. "How often do you see your family?"

  "Oh, maybe two or three times a year. I love them, but ... it's been especially hard to be around them these past few years. Caroline and I spent holidays apart, with our families, but kept the visits as short as possible so we could be together again. The first Christmas after her death was the loneliest I have ever felt. My family was all around, but they had no idea how lost I felt. They didn't mean to be uncaring, I guess they were either oblivious or just didn't know how to say anything to make it easier." Emily shrugged. "Anyway, my visits have become shorter and more sporadic."

  Ann stood. "How about a walk?"

  "That sounds good," Emily said, grateful for an end to that conversation.

  They donned jackets, boots, hats and gloves and went out the kitchen door. Ann led them in a different direction from the hill where they had gone sledding. They climbed over a couple of wooden fences, trudging through the snow in the open fields. After about ten minutes, they topped a hill and came within sight of a very old stone barn, with a stand of tall pine trees surrounding three sides.

  "Oh, Ann," Emily gasped, "this barn is beautiful!"

  "I thought you'd like it," Ann said, smiling. "I have always loved it here. Even the slightest wind moans through the pines." She stopped and listened, but it was absolutely still.

  They went in through a small wooden door. It took their eyes a moment to adjust to the dimness. There were rays of sunlight coming in through the windows on the south side of the barn. As their entrance stirred the air inside, they could see dust twinkling in the sunlight.

  Ann led the way up a ladder to a loft, which still held a large pile of dried hay. "I've always wanted to convert this barn into a house with a studio area. Large south-facing windows and rough finished floors," she said, picturing the rooms. From the upper windows of the loft, they could see the roof of the house with a thin plume of gray smoke coming from one chimney.

  Ann turned from the window while Emily continued to gaze out. Suddenly, there was a crack of wood splintering that echoed like a shot within the walls of the barn. Emily turned to find Ann gone. The floor of the loft now had a large hole where one of the ancient wide boards had given way.

  Emily's heart stopped. "Ann?" she called out fearfully. There was no answer. She ran to the ladder, not considering that she might also fall through a weak board. There was a thick cloud of dust as she descended the ladder. At first, she couldn't see anything in the darkness under the loft. She heard a rustling sound, and detected movement.

  "Ann!" she cried. "Are you hurt?" She knelt beside Ann who had landed in a small pile of straw, which didn't offer much padding for her ten-foot drop from the loft.

  "I think I'm okay," Ann said, shakily. Emily helped her to sit up. "What a surprise," she said, trying to smile.

  "You really scared me," Emily said, her voice cracking. Ann leaned into Emily, and let herself be folded in Emily's strong embrace. She hadn't realized that she was trembling until she felt the stable support of Emily's arms.

  After a moment, Ann sat up. "I'm all right," she insisted, brushing straw off her jacket. Emily helped her to her feet, where she immediately winced and almost went back down. "Maybe I'm not all right," she joked.

  "What is it?" Emily asked.

  "My right ankle," Ann grimaced as she tried unsuccessfully to put weight on it. Emily couldn't see clearly in the faint light. She moved to Ann's right side, and Ann put her arm over Emily's shoulders. Using Emily as a crutch, Ann hopped toward the barn door. That tactic became more difficult outside as she couldn't hop high enough to clear her left foot from the snow.

  "Here," Emily said, scooping Ann up in her arms. When Ann protested, Emily cut her off. "I'll carry you this way as far as I can, and then you'll have to hop on my back. Now shut up and let me save my breath."

  Ann obediently stopped argu
ing and tried to make herself as light as possible. Emily's breathing settled into a deep, regular rhythm. As Emily followed their footprints back to the house, Ann studied Emily's profile. It was a curious mixture of child and adult, with a slightly upturned nose and large eyes contrasted by the determined set of her jaw.

  At one of the fences, they switched positions, and Ann rode on Emily's back. "Hey! Don't squeeze so hard! I'm not Meg, you know," Emily complained, grinning.

  "Sorry. Habit," Ann giggled.

  At length, they reached the house. Ann sat down in the kitchen while Emily carefully removed her boot and sock. The outside of Ann's ankle was already dark with an ugly bruise. It began to swell immediately. She propped Ann's foot on the table to elevate it and quickly got a bag of ice. She tied the ice in place with a kitchen towel then followed Ann's directions to a medicine chest in a bathroom downstairs. There she found an elastic bandage, which she used to wrap the ankle and hold the ice in place.

  "Where'd you learn to do this?" Ann queried.

  "Lots of sprained ankles playing ball and running track," Emily replied. "But I'm afraid yours is worse than sprained. I just can't tell.

  "Do you want to call your parents or your brother?" Emily asked.

  "They can't do anything," Ann said. "No use ruining their trip. Let's just get back to Weston. I'll have it x-rayed there."

  Emily went upstairs to pack their suitcases and brought them down. Ann directed her in which lights to turn off and which doors to lock. Emily brought the Toyota to the front door and helped Ann hop out. Ann insisted in sitting in the front seat. Once Emily had settled into the driver's seat, they headed back to Vermont. Emily drove carefully to avoid slippery patches of snow on the roads. Ann's face became pale as the pain increased. She shifted restlessly in her seat, but didn't utter a complaint. Emily tried to keep the conversation rolling to distract Ann. She started speaking to her in French, forcing Ann to concentrate on her responses.

  After what seemed like a very long time, they arrived in Weston. Emily drove straight to the ER of the small hospital. When an x-ray was taken of Ann's ankle, it revealed a fracture of the tibia just above the ankle. The doctor said it would require surgery to fix it. He said he would notify the orthopedic surgeon on call.

  "Ann, you've got to call your parents if you have to have surgery," Emily insisted.

  "I guess you're right." She looked at the clock. "They probably won't be at the apartment yet. I'll have to leave a message and have you call them later, okay?" Ann asked the nurse if she could use the phone to notify her parents while they waited for the surgeon. The nurse pushed the gurney over to a phone and gave Ann directions for dialing. Ann reached the answering machine at the apartment in L.A. She calmly told her parents what had happened and promised that Emily would call them as soon as there was something to report.

  As she hung the phone up, she said, "You won't mind calling them will you?"

  "Of course not," Emily said. Ann wrote the number down. The nurse came in to give Ann an injection for pain.

  "Well, this wasn't how I expected the weekend to turn out," Ann said ruefully. Emily pulled a chair up next to the gurney while they waited.

  "How are you feeling?"

  "Oh, I've been better," Ann smiled, "but I think the shot is working already."

  Emily reached over and pulled a piece of straw from Ann's hair. She held it up and Ann said, "A roll in the hay will never sound the same!"

  The surgeon came in while they were laughing, which increased their laughter even more. With an amused expression, she introduced herself. "I'm Dr. Waterson." She examined Ann's ankle, palpating carefully and looking at the x-rays. "Well, we definitely need to fixate that bone, probably with a plate and a few screws. I'll call the OR, and we'll have you prepped for surgery."

  A flurry of activity followed. There were consent forms to sign. Ann had to change into a hospital gown while Emily waited outside the cubicle. An IV was started. When all was ready, Emily took Ann's hand.

  "I'll be waiting," she said.

  "You'd better be," Ann said sleepily as the IV began to take effect.

  As Ann was wheeled away, Emily's heart gave a lurch. Had she just said good-bye? She tried to push such morbid thoughts from her head. The ER nurse showed her to the waiting room, which was empty. She tried to read but couldn't. She paced as unwelcome thoughts crowded their way in. Surgery was risky. Why was she allowing herself to care so much anyway? She knew she was beginning to care for Ann as more than a friend, but she stopped that line of thinking dead in its tracks.

  After an hour and a half that felt more like five, Dr. Waterson came to the waiting room. "Everything went well," she said. "Ann's ankle should function fine, but she'll need to be on crutches for a couple weeks, and she'll need physical therapy." She stood and said, "Would you like to see her?"

  Emily blinked. "Could I?" she asked incredulously.

  "Sure," Dr. Waterson said. "She's in the recovery room. She'll be there for about a half hour, and then we'll move her to her room."

  Emily followed Dr. Waterson into the recovery room, which was empty except for Ann. A nurse was monitoring her blood pressure. Emily stepped up to the bed. Ann looked very small lying there. She smiled when she saw Emily.

  "Hey" Emily murmured, brushing Ann's hair from her forehead. "How do you feel?"

  "I feel great," Ann said, her speech a little slurred. "These drugs are wonderful."

  The nurse laughed. "Wait until tomorrow."

  Ann reached for Emily's hand and held it tightly. The nurse left to write something in Ann's chart. "Thank you for being here," she said.

  "It feels good to be here for you for a change," Emily said tenderly. "I'll call your parents when they take you to your room. Is there anything you'd like me to bring back for you?"

  "Maybe my robe?"

  The nurse came back over. "Ready to go upstairs?"

  "Getting rid of me already?" Ann joked.

  "I've got a crossword puzzle waiting," the nurse teased back. "She'll be in room 214," she said to Emily.

  "All right." She released Ann's hand. "I'll go call your parents and pick up a few things for you."

  Emily drove over to Ann's apartment. She dialed the number Ann had given her. Katharine answered on the first ring. "Hello, Emily?" she asked anxiously.

  "Yes," Emily replied.

  "How is she?" Owen's voice came over the other extension.

  "She's fine. I left her as they were getting ready to move her out of the recovery room. Her room number is 214." She gave them the hospital's number. "The doctor had to put a plate and screws in her ankle," she explained. She related what the doctor had said about Ann's having to use crutches for a while. They asked Emily to call if anything happened and said they would call Ann tomorrow.

  "And Emily?" Katharine added, "Thank you for taking care of her."

  Emily stood there for a long while after hanging up. There was a confused jumble of emotions almost making her sick: relief that Ann was all right, her continued grief for Caroline, guilt over her feelings for Ann, the leftover apprehension that Ann's parents would lash out at her. She shook herself, and went to gather the things she thought Ann would need. She had brought Ann's suitcase in from the car, and removed the clothes from the weekend, replacing them with sweatpants, sweatshirts, clean underwear and a robe and slippers. Ann's bathroom items she left in the bag.

  When she was done, she drove to the Gundlach house. She explained to Mr. and Mrs. Gundlach what had happened. "I'll probably go stay at her apartment for a couple days when they release her from the hospital," she said, not at all certain she'd be welcome or needed.

  "You'll do nothing of the sort!" Mrs. Gundlach puffed. "You bring Ann here, and we'll help take care of her, right, Papa?"

  "Absolutely, Miss Emily," he agreed, his blue eyes crinkling in a smile. "What would she do all day while you're teaching? Mama and I can look after her."

  "You are too kind," Emily said, hugging both of them.<
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  She returned to the hospital and found Ann settled in her room. She entered quietly and saw that Ann was sleeping. She set the suitcase down, and pulled a chair up close to the bed. She sat there, watching Ann sleep. She noted Ann's long, dark lashes, her fine eyebrows, the curve of her lips. Ann's hand was lying on the pillow; Emily tentatively reached out and lightly touched Ann's long, graceful fingers. She had no idea how long she had sat there when Ann stirred and opened her eyes.

  "Hi," Emily said, leaning forward.

  "How long have you been here?" Ann asked groggily.

  "I'm not sure," Emily smiled. "I brought your robe and a few other things. I spoke with your parents. They'll call you tomorrow. Can I get you anything?"